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Cockroach Jokes

Cockroach Jokes

Cockroach Jokes

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All English jokes are called, Cockroach jokes, because the English people are called, Shakespeare cockroaches.  England is called, Cockroach England and Britain is called, Cockroach Britain.  Undermentioned Cockroach jokes are about the low intellect, stupidity and idiotic nature of the English people and prove that the English race is basically a stupid race.  If you know of any Cockroach jokes, email us at English_joke_is_Cockroach_joke@yahoo.com and we will place them on this site.  The Cockroach jokes about the English people’s stupidity are as under  :

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There are 54 COCKROACH  JOKES on this page

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Cockroach joke  1

How can you tell when a stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) sends you a fax ?

It has got a postage stamp on it.

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Cockroach joke  2

How did a stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) try to kill a bird ?

He threw it off the cliff.

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Cockroach joke  3

Last week, 19 stupid Shakespeare cockroaches (Englishmen) went together to watch a film. Why ?

Because under 18 were not allowed.

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Cockroach joke  4

An Irish houseowner told his stupid Shakespeare cockroach (English) servant,  “Draw the curtains”.

The servant, who was a very very stupid Englishman, took the pencil and drew the curtains on a piece of paper.

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Cockroach joke  5

An intelligent Irish asked a stupid Shakespeare cockroach, “What is the meaning of Lawsuit”.

The stupid Shakespeare cockroach replied, “It is the suit which the lawyers wear in the court”.

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Cockroach joke  6

An intelligent Irish had a Shakespeare cockroach (English) friend, who was a photographer.  One day, the intelligent Irish saw his photographer friend collecting the fused light bulbs and in amazement, he asked, “Why are you collecting these useless fused bulbs” ??

The English photographer, who was a very very stupid man, replied, “I am collecting them to build a dark room”.

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Cockroach joke  7

An Intelligent Irish teacher asked his Shakespeare cockroach (English) student, “What is more important. Sun or the moon” ? The student replied, “Moon”. The teacher asked in amazement, “Why” ? The stupid Shakespeare cockroach student replied, “The moon gives us light in the night when we need it.  But the sun gives us light only during the day time, when we dont need it.”

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Cockroach joke  8

A stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman), whose both ears were covered in bandage, met his intelligent Irish friend.  The Irish asked him, “What happened to your ears”?.  The stupid Shakespeare cockroach replied, “I was ironing my clothes when the phone rang and instead of picking up the phone, I picked the iron and burnt my ear”: The Irish asked, “But then what happened to your other ear.” The stupid Shakespeare cockroach replied, “The stupid guy phoned again”.

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Cockroach joke  9

An intelligent Irish met a very stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) and told him, “I can go for 10 full days without sleeping”.  The Shakespeare cockroach asked in amazement, “Ten days ….. but how “?.  The intelligent Irish replied, “I sleep during the night”.

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Cockroach joke  10

How do you make a stupid Shakespeare cockroach laugh on Sunday ??

Tell him a joke on Wednesday and he will understand it on Sunday.

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Cockroach joke  11

Why do the stupid Shakespeare cockroaches always smile during the lightning blitz ?

Because they think that somebody is taking their fotograph.

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Cockroach joke  12

A very stupid Shakespeare cockroach-woman (Englishwoman) went to an antique shop in United Ireland and asked the Irish manager to show her an ancient artefact. The manager showed her a bronze piece of art and told her, “It is 4,000 years old”.  The stupid Shakespeare cockroach-woman , who was a very very stupid Englishwoman, immediately replied “Dont tell me a lie. We are only in the year 2007, so how can this artefact be 4,000 years old” ??

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Cockroach Joke  13

What do you call a Shakespeare cockroach, who has got a broken leg and is abusive to others  ?

He/She has got a Foot & Mouth disease.

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Cockroach Joke  14

What do you call a Shakespeare-Cockroach-woman (Englishwoman) who is crazy and talks nonsense all the time.

She has got a Mad Cow disease.

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.Cockroach Joke  15

What is the most famous English cuisine of Cockroach England ?

Cockroach Pie.

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Cockroach Joke  16

Why do the stupid Shakespeare cockroaches (English people) always write “TGIF” on their shoes ?

“Toes go in first”.

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Cockroach Joke  17

An intelligent Irish asked a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman), “What is the meaning of “MINIMUM” and “MAXIMUM” ? 

The Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid Englishman replied, “A very short mother is called, Mimimum and a big mother is called, Maximum.

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Cockroach Joke  18

What do you call those Englishmen and women, who are FAT  ?

Hippodromes.

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Cockroach Joke  19

A man went to a Cockroach restaurant (English restaurant) and ordered food.  After waiting for half an hour, he aksed the English waiter, “When would you prepare my food. I have been waiting for half an hour” ?  The Shakespeare cockroach waiter replied, “We prepared the food last month and we are now heating it up for you”.

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Cockroach Joke  20

What do you call that particular neighbourhood in the European countries, where the residents are mostly the Englishmen and women ?

Cockroach town.

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Cockroach Joke  21

What is the British contribution to European agriculture  ?

“Foot & Mouth Disease” ………. and ………. “Mad Cow Disease”.

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Cockroach Joke  22

An intelligent Irish went to Cockroach England and stayed in  a hotel, where all the staff consisted of Shakespeare cockroaches (English people).

Three days after, when the  Intelligent Irish checked out of the hotel, he realized at the reception that he had  forgotten his watch in the room.  He asked a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) at the reception to rush towards the room  and see whether  the watch was on the table or  not.  The Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid man, ran towards the room and after a few minutes, rushed back  and told the Intelligent Irish, “Sir, your watch  is on the table”.

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Cockroach joke 23

A very stupid Shakespeare Cockroach (Englishman) went to United Ireland and got in the bus on 1st April. When the ticket checker came, the Shakespeare cockroach gave 2 Euros to the checker, took the ticket and laughingly said,  “April fool. I have got a weekly pass”.

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Cockroach joke  24

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) found a new job in United Ireland & on the first day he worked on the computer all day.  His Irish boss asked in the evening, “What did you do all day”?

The Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid Englishman replied, “The key board alphabets were NOT in order, so I put them in order”.

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Cockroach Joke  25

Where do the Shakespeare cockroaches (English people) send their camera films for developing  ??

 To the developing countries.

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Cockroach Joke  26

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) had a girlfriend & on a romantic day, she said, “Darling, would you give me a RING on our engagement day” ??

The Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid Englishman replied, “Yes darling. On our engagement day, I will give you a RING from my mobile phone”.

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Cockroach Joke  27

Two very very stupid Shakespeare cockroaches (Englishmen) were fixing a bomb in a house in Dublin, during their terrorist colonial times in the 18th century.

Shakespeare Cockroach-1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing ?

Shakespeare Cockroach-2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

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Cockroach Joke  28

How can you destroy a Submarine, which is full of Shakespeare Cockroaches (English people) ?

It is easy. Just knock on the door & the silly Shakespeare cockroaches will open the door.

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Cockroach Joke 29

What does a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) do after the photo copying ?

He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

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Cockroach Joke 30

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) goes to a shop to buy a TV in United Ireland.

He asks, “Do you have a colour TV” ??

“Yes we have”, comes the reply.

Shakespeare cockroach asks, “Give me a yellow one”.

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Cockroach Joke 31

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) fills a job application & he fills the columns of name, age, address etc. Then came the column of “Salary Expected”. After a few hours of thought, the Shakespeare cockroach wrote, “YES”.

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Cockroach Joke 32

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman)  proposes to a woman in Cockroach England and she agrees on a condition that he will bring her Crocodile boots. Shakespeare cockroach went to Africa and hunted crocodiles. He killed a very big crocodile & checked its legs and angrily said, “Its the 46th crocodile and again bare footed”.

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Cockroach Joke 33

What does a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) do when he has ONE white sheet and he wants another one ?

He photo copies it.

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Cockroach Joke 34

How do you measure the intellect of a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) ?

Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his Cockroach ear.

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Cockroach Joke 35

What do you do if a Shakespeare Cockroach (Englishman) throws a hand grenade at you ?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Cockroach Joke 36

What do you do if a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) throws the pin at you ?

Run as fast as you can, because he has got the grenade in his mouth.

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Cockroach Joke 37

What was a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) doing when he was holding his hands over his ears ?

He was trying to hold on to his thoughts.

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Cockroach Joke 38

Why can’t a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) make ice cubes ?

Because he always forgets the recipe.

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Cockroach Joke 39

Why can’t a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) dial 911 ?

Because he cannot find 11 on the dial.

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Cockroach Joke 40

How can you persuade a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) to go to the roof ?

Tell him that the drinks are on the house.

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Cockroach Joke 41

Why does it take longer to build a “Shakespeare-cockroach-Snowman” than a regular one ?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

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Cockroach Joke 42

A Doctor told a Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) if he ran 8 Km every day for 300 days, he will loose 30 Kgs.

At the end of 300 days, the Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) phoned the doctor & said that he had lost 30 Kgs but he had a problem.

“What is the problem”, asked the Doctor ?

Shakespeare cockroach replied, “I am 2400 Kilometers away from my house”.

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Cockroach Joke 43

A Shakespeare cockroach lost his English donkey & was seen thanking the God.  His intellectual Irish friend saw this and asked, “You lost the English donkey & you are thanking the God ……..Why “??

Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid Englishman, replied, “I am thanking the God because I was not riding the donkey at that time. Otherwise, I would have gone missing also”.

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Cockroach Joke 44

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) had a 4th child & he filled the birth certificate form as follows :

Mother ——- Shakespeare cockroach (English)

Father ——– Shakespeare cockroach (English)

Child ———- Chinese

His Intellectual Irish friend asked, “When both parents are Shakespeare cockroaches (English), why the son is Chinese” ???

The Shakespeare cockroach, who was a very very stupid English, replied, “I read in the newspaper that every 4th person born in the world is a Chinese”.

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Cockroach Joke 45

What is the English contribution to the European sports ?

Cockroach Hooligans.

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Cockroach Joke 46

What do you call the English breakfast ?

Cockroach breakfast.

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Cockroach Joke 47

What do you call the English breakfast  ?

Cockroach breakfast

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Cockroach Joke 48

What do you call the subject which relates to the study of the British culture, British economy and British society ?

Cockroach-ology.

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Cockroach Joke 49

Five Englishmen + Three Englishmen. How many Englishmen in total ?

8 Shakespeare cockroaches.

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Cockroach Joke 50

What do you call the British pop music ?

Cockroach music.

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Cockroach Joke 51

English people are hated by a lot of people and the English are also beaten up by many from time to time. What do you call this English bashing  ?

Cockroach bashing.

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Cockroach Joke 52

A Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) told his intellectual Irish friend of his plan of committing suicide.

How ????

By shooting himself in the head …….. 6 times.

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Cockroach Joke 53

A stupid Shakespeare Cockroach (Englishman) went on a summer holiday to UNITED IRELAND & was seen sitting under the very hot and blistering sun & sweating prfousely. An Intellectual Irish saw him sweating heavily & asked him in amazement, “Hey, Shakespeare cockroach, why are you sitting under the burning sun” ??

The Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) who was a very very stupid Englishman replied, “I am drying my sweat”.

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Cockroach Joke 54

A very stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) went to a store in UNITED IRELAND & saw a shiny object & upon enquiring, he was told that “It is a thermos flask & it keeps hot things hot & cold things cold”.

The stupid Shakespeare cockroach (Englishman) bought the flask & next day he took it to work, where his Intellectual Irish boss asked, “What is this shiny object” ?? The stupid Shakespeare cockroach replied, “It is a flask & it keeps hot things hot & cold things cold”. The Intellectual Irish boss asked, “What is inside the flask” ?

The stupid Shakespeare cockroach replied, “Two cups of coffee & one cola”.

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For replies,

English_joke_is_Cockroach_joke@yahoo.com

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This site will be constanty updated with more and more Cockroach jokes. So keep visiting.  You can also send us your own COCKROACH JOKES on the above email address.  We will appreciate greatly if somebody can invent some Cockroach jokes about the British terrorism in Northern Ireland.

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